July 2010
1 post
June 2010
2 posts
May 2010
3 posts
April 2010
1 post
Natasha VC: More Terrifying News via Snake Man →
THIS IS A PARADE OF HORRORS!!
Tonight at never-ending probation class Snake Breeding Guy told some more stories of things that happened in the Great Quake of ‘94. Perhaps the most horrifying was the CALIFORNIA KING SNAKE that got loose and nestled into the toilet! And when his mom opened the lid…
Snakeman has been delivering terrifying news since the 1980’s:
March 2010
6 posts
web colors i will never use:
suburbanmike:
#7FFF00
fyi
What about #C1E404?
Theme shopping.
Rev’s Ranch-West never looked so fly.
For a white guy.
February 2010
1 post
January 2010
2 posts
Making Music.
Now if only it were good music.
Unemployed.
America, who knew this newfound sense of freedom could be so boring? I never want to see another episode of the Bernie Mac show ever again. I do like beginning my statements with “America” however.
December 2009
1 post
Bought a Trenchcoat.
Hopefully the mafia references have disappated these past ten years.
October 2009
1 post
Everything Sucks.
A co-worker was discussing her fervorous disdain for a new television program in the breakroom today, citing that the new reality show “sucks”. I, over-analyzing everything, asked just how it sucks. She goes into production values, the obvious fake setup and scripted moments and so on when I interupt. “No,” I said. “How does it suck?” She stared at me, confused....
September 2009
2 posts
Madrid Theater.
A local potshop is hosting comedian Doug Benson. And who says they aren’t giving back to the public? They are also hosting an afterparty with cheap pot. What a communal gathering.
June 2009
4 posts
I don't like your girlfriend.
But I like her ass. Making good use of my tumblr, right here.
Most People Play Guitar for the Classics.
You’ve known the asshole at the party: fucks up Stairway to Heaven, or attempts to sing Wonderwall, or tries to get the Beatles tone down. It’s all been heard before. It gets the ladies listening, and the men whistling. All in all, a good get.
But I’ve gone great: a vow of obscurity. Instead of Smells Like Teen Spirit, I will learn Rape Me. Instead of the huge acoustic hit...
To Sobriety!
I want to meet the man who gets so drunk he quotes Citizen Kane repeatedly. I’d like to get to that level.
May 2009
1 post
False Pretention
…And when the sands shift outright into stone
and the tides swell like the curling feet of a wicked witch
and how the birds in final flight will fall in formation
and the sleeping man under the tree awakens from a nightmare
and the lights all shine red
and repentance is never justified
and God doesn’t arrive;
I’ll be there for you.
Because you’re there for me too.
April 2009
5 posts
Review: Ubuntu and Kubuntu 9.04
For many years I’ve considered the functionality of Linux, and whether it is an operating system readily available to the general public in terms of ease of use and functionality. When I hopped on the boat with Ubuntu 5, I said there was still a good amount of features that required opening up the terminal (command line) and that is wasn’t quite the operating system for the everyday...
Observe and Report
Excellent selection. It demyths the Western genre and creates new life into the post modern comedy. It is the stagetti western’s antithesis; it’s formula will be remembered and imiated for years to come. A must-see for film afficianados and comedy-goers alike. Out now.
A Cold Reading.
I put my books in the refrigerator because I love the feeling of the cold pages.
Literary classics go in the vegetable drawer and poetry in with the fruits.
Periodicals and almanacs in the meat section.
I place the best, most favorite reads in the freezer. They stack well between the television dinners and prop up the frozen chicken nicely.
I put essays and science journals next to the water,...
I Like the Tuna Here.
Bullshit, asshole no one likes the tuna here.
At Subway®, they pee in the tuna.
Why don’t you go down to Fatburger® and get a tuna for $2.95?
In never got that line; I’ve never seen tuna at Fatburger®.
Also, is it proper English to include a registered mark?
I fucking hate tuna.
Tommy Koulax
24-Hour Chilli Burger, aww yeah.
The creeps come out at night, aww nah.
He told me that he had to kiss the Admiral’s cat because
he wound up with $600, or something like that.
I just wanted a refill.
Attack, Decay, Sustain, Release
The thing about a synthesizer is you care more about the shape of the note than if it actually sounds good or not. It’s a lot like chauvinism. Musical chauvinism. It’s no wonder why all these DJ’s at the club are scrony white dudes with outragous apparel; they are chauvinists. Chauvinists to the sound. I’d never disrespect your ears like that, baby. But I will throw in the...